ABBY’S ILLUMINATIONS

GUIDING NOTES FROM ABBY’S LIFE TO CHALLENGE & UPLIFT YOURS:

Well this sucked.
Ella London Ella London

Well this sucked.

When I was young, I wanted to "reach my potential." I had a habit of comparing myself to every Sally, Joan, and Kate, and that habit led me to give up and quit trying altogether. Inevitably, I'd have a success, or someone pumped me up, and I'd go at it with renewed energy, but not for long. A force inside or outside of me knocked me off center, and I'd be stagnant again.

Read More
use your kids properly
Ella London Ella London

use your kids properly

Sometimes I forget to stop working. Jaden lost his electronics over the weekend (and by that, I mean I stormed into his room, unplugged his Xbox monitor while he was playing, collected his phone, iPad, and computer, and stormed out). When there is no screen time,

Read More
Your key to Inner Tranquility
Ella London Ella London

Your key to Inner Tranquility

You Silky-Haired Goddesses wouldn’t know this, but us curly-haired gals are asked to brush our hair out before it’s colored. My son snapped this Chia Pet picture of me, and I realized I'm kinda like a hairdresser!

Read More
My Serious Case of the Yips
Ella London Ella London

My Serious Case of the Yips

It all started when my husband peeled a hard-boiled egg over my in-law's kitchen sink.  “You need a lesson on that?” his father asked, peering over his shoulder. Brian chuckled. “Sure, you got a better way?”

Read More
Liberation Is An Inside Job
Uncategorized Ella London Uncategorized Ella London

Liberation Is An Inside Job

Yesterday, I talked to fifty female entrepreneurs about the benefits of regulating your internal state (rather than allowing your mind to drag you down twenty-seven miles of gravel like a chained-up tire). I started with an example I often use – when the email that sends you into outer space pops up in your inbox. The irony? I …

Read More
I have a secret...
Uncategorized Ella London Uncategorized Ella London

I have a secret...

Believe it or not, I was never a proponent of “self-love.” It was hard to take anyone seriously who suggested I needed to love myself – what with the cartoon butterflies circling above their head. What’s next – we’ll live on berries and wood chips under the open sky, singing Kumbaya? Plus, I did love myself. …

Read More
Being Understood is Overrated
Uncategorized Ella London Uncategorized Ella London

Being Understood is Overrated

Here’s what I mean: When my ex was on Oxycontin, I went to great lengths to explain that it’s not normal to slur one’s words, fall asleep behind a drum kit in the middle of a set or visit an ER every month. Clearly, my running list of his bizarre behavior was proof enough to justify I …

Read More
My Catch and Release Program
Uncategorized Ella London Uncategorized Ella London

My Catch and Release Program

I have a catch-and-release policy on my emotions. I catch the little buggers, reel them in long enough to see the whites of their fishy eyes, and then toss them back. The benefits are endless when my line is hot. The more I catch, the more everyone wins. I don’t stew all night, leaving me well-rested …

Read More
Paralysis
abby havermann abby havermann

Paralysis

Not gonna lie... I dragged ASS last week. It probably started Wednesday and bled into Thursday. Friday was so packed I couldn't dwell, and I teetered all weekend. Sometimes I'm paralyzed with fear which manifests in a generalized dread. I'm likely telling myself things like:

Read More
We Really Need To Stop Falling For This
Uncategorized Ella London Uncategorized Ella London

We Really Need To Stop Falling For This

Have you noticed that we have a nation of superstar women who are burnt-out, exhausted, and, yes, nag a little too much? I believe one of the culprits is the bum information we got about how to "take care of ourselves." It’s unsurprising, what with the media-driven expectations to …

Read More
Boundaries!
Uncategorized Ella London Uncategorized Ella London

Boundaries!

So, you’ve had the aha that you need to change. You need to speak up for yourself, ask for help, be more vulnerable or stop allowing others to treat you poorly. You decide you need to set boundaries. Off you go into your relationships full of declarations and a vow to stand up for yourself. …

Read More
Will You Help Me?
Uncategorized Ella London Uncategorized Ella London

Will You Help Me?

I had a coach once who called me the “Best Kept Secret.” Our professional association had evolved into friendship, and after I’d inadvertently coached her one day, she insisted I put myself out into the world. So, I let the tip of my pinky toe graze a single blade of grass. Fast forward, and I’m galloping across the field of social …

Read More
What Feminism Forgot
Uncategorized Ella London Uncategorized Ella London

What Feminism Forgot

Remember the Enjoli commercial “I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan”? It was for an eight-hour perfume and featured a modern-day woman doing “all the things.” In the end, she’s in an evening gown singing that she’s never going to let you forget “who I am” — a kick-ass-and-take-names feminist, …

Read More
A More Important Question to Ask Yourself
Uncategorized Ella London Uncategorized Ella London

A More Important Question to Ask Yourself

Do you wear guilt and shame as your primary colors? This is one of the questions I posed to the audience at my TEDx Talk on self-betrayal a couple of weeks ago. It’s impossible to honor yourself if guilt and shame drive your decision-making, and if you aren’t honoring yourself, you’re betraying yourself. Guilt and …

Read More