Well this sucked.
When I was young, I wanted to "reach my potential." I had a habit of comparing myself to every Sally, Joan, and Kate, and that habit led me to give up and quit trying altogether.
Inevitably, I'd have a success, or someone pumped me up, and I'd go at it with renewed energy, but not for long. A force inside or outside of me knocked me off center, and I'd be stagnant again.
It was easy to excuse myself, complaining that I wasn't good enough, or "who did I think I was," or any of the tens of thousands of reasons I made up.
Recently, I was super excited about two speaking gigs. The organizations were perfectly aligned with my passion. I knew I had what they needed, and honestly, I thought they were in the bag, but I got beat out.
Disappointment floated in the air like a ghost trying to lure me back to bed for a multi-level Netflix, Cassava chip, and self-pity binge. But a ghost it was because that was the old me - the one who stuck a toe in the game and then determined if she was worth a shit based on the outcome.
Truthfully, the narrative was a bore. It robbed me of productivity, energy, and flat-out joy. More importantly, it robbed others who need to hear my message of hearing it.
I know you have genius inside of you because every living person on this planet does. By getting in your own way, you're getting in the way of others who need what you have, not to mention all the people in your life who'd much prefer you be in an uplifting mood.
Just like your workout routine, the thoughts, beliefs, and emotions you practice are the habits you create. If you want to know how to get out of your own way, try this:
Start Practicing:
Leaning into (rather than give lip service to) a belief that every disappointment really does have a gift or opportunity — Example: I will thoroughly enjoy this conference without stressing about presenting, and besides, who knows what may come about.
Backing away slowly when your brain compares you to others.
Unmemorizing envy by laboring to feel excited for the people who have what you want.
Trusting a higher order — Example: I fully trust that the chosen speakers have a message that the attending audience needs to hear most. Otherwise, it wouldn't be happening this way.
Stop Practicing:
Attaching your worth to external wins and losses.
