ABBY’S ILLUMINATIONS
GUIDING NOTES FROM ABBY’S LIFE TO CHALLENGE & UPLIFT YOURS:
Liberation Is An Inside Job
Yesterday, I talked to fifty female entrepreneurs about the benefits of regulating your internal state (rather than allowing your mind to drag you down twenty-seven miles of gravel like a chained-up tire). I started with an example I often use – when the email that sends you into outer space pops up in your inbox. The irony? I …
I have a secret...
Believe it or not, I was never a proponent of “self-love.” It was hard to take anyone seriously who suggested I needed to love myself – what with the cartoon butterflies circling above their head. What’s next – we’ll live on berries and wood chips under the open sky, singing Kumbaya? Plus, I did love myself. …
Being Understood is Overrated
Here’s what I mean: When my ex was on Oxycontin, I went to great lengths to explain that it’s not normal to slur one’s words, fall asleep behind a drum kit in the middle of a set or visit an ER every month. Clearly, my running list of his bizarre behavior was proof enough to justify I …
My Catch and Release Program
I have a catch-and-release policy on my emotions. I catch the little buggers, reel them in long enough to see the whites of their fishy eyes, and then toss them back. The benefits are endless when my line is hot. The more I catch, the more everyone wins. I don’t stew all night, leaving me well-rested …
We Really Need To Stop Falling For This
Have you noticed that we have a nation of superstar women who are burnt-out, exhausted, and, yes, nag a little too much? I believe one of the culprits is the bum information we got about how to "take care of ourselves." It’s unsurprising, what with the media-driven expectations to …
Boundaries!
So, you’ve had the aha that you need to change. You need to speak up for yourself, ask for help, be more vulnerable or stop allowing others to treat you poorly. You decide you need to set boundaries. Off you go into your relationships full of declarations and a vow to stand up for yourself. …
Will You Help Me?
I had a coach once who called me the “Best Kept Secret.” Our professional association had evolved into friendship, and after I’d inadvertently coached her one day, she insisted I put myself out into the world. So, I let the tip of my pinky toe graze a single blade of grass. Fast forward, and I’m galloping across the field of social …
Was it Little Red Riding Hood's Fault she was Eaten?
I’m just going to come right out and say it. I think Little Red Riding Hood was culpable when the Big Bad Wolf ate her. I’m well aware that the wolf was bigger and faster, with claws and very sharp teeth, so I’m not suggesting Red could have outrun him or, G-d forbid, she “shouldn’t …
What Feminism Forgot
Remember the Enjoli commercial “I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan”? It was for an eight-hour perfume and featured a modern-day woman doing “all the things.” In the end, she’s in an evening gown singing that she’s never going to let you forget “who I am” — a kick-ass-and-take-names feminist, …
A More Important Question to Ask Yourself
Do you wear guilt and shame as your primary colors? This is one of the questions I posed to the audience at my TEDx Talk on self-betrayal a couple of weeks ago. It’s impossible to honor yourself if guilt and shame drive your decision-making, and if you aren’t honoring yourself, you’re betraying yourself. Guilt and …