ponder this on Halloween
I hate Halloween. I know, I know...what can I say? It’s my truth.
When I was in middle school, my best friend would binge on horror movies and Stephen King novels while I was busy hiding from my own shadow.
As an adult, merely mentioning a costume party requiring creativity spiked my cortisol levels, and while Kristen was hand-stitching her school-aged kids’ costumes, I was trying to convince mine that they were too old to trick or treat.
When I lost that battle, I couldn’t stay out of their candy bins, so I’d have to gaslight them the next day when they were looking for the Reese Peanut Butter Cups (raising my stature to "Mother of the Universe").
The only thing that Halloween and I have in common is that I like to think about the inevitability of death.
I know it’s dark. Hear me out.
When you ponder the reality that we all came from nothingness and return to nothingness, it brings new meaning (and by that, I mean less meaning) to the daily soap operas that are our lives.
It’s true, I could be up all night over my work product, a bully at my kids’ school, an argument with a person of importance to me, fear over my son’s health – literally any number of things.
But a fly on the walls of my grandparents’ or great-grandparents’ households would have seen a similar night-time sheet-twisting and pillow-flopping over similar or identical circumstances.
And those people are all gone. Every one of them, including all of their friends, bosses, coworkers, and families, not to mention their failures and achievements.
Think about the drama we take ourselves through daily. Will we get the A, the guy, the deal? Will we fail, be left behind, be disliked? Will our kids be happy? Will we be “successful”?
In the grand scheme of things, none of it matters. One hundred years from now, everyone in my household will be gone, not to mention every life I ever touched.
What does that spell? FREEDOM.
Here’s the point: We aren't that important.
Here's what to do about it:
Wake up every day and do your level best.
Know that royally f’ing up may have been your best that day.
Of everything you must do, lean into the items that inspire you.
Bring joy to the ones that don’t.
Remember that done is better than perfect (especially since nothing really matters).
And, if you're dealing with something big, feel and observe your emotions rather than clinging to or denying them - it just makes for less suffering.
The question is not how unfair or upsetting what life has thrown you is.
The question also isn't how to deal with it.
The question is, WHO do you want to BE while you move through it?
I’m not at liberty to turn my lights out tonight and pretend I’m not home because the people in my household aren’t on board, but when it’s my turn to answer the door, I’ve decided to do it joyfully.
Happy Halloween!
