Leave the house? Converse with humans whose flesh I can reach out and touch? You want me to discard the protection of my computer screen, replace my pajama bottoms with jeans that no longer stretch around my waist, risk dirtying my slippers in the elements, or worse, don socks and soled shoes? Well, it just …

Omg, you have GOT to meet my new BFF, Grammarly! She’s A-mazing. Never once has she judged, misunderstood, or betrayed me. And I’m challenging to get along with when it comes to grammar. My spelling is so poor I rewrite entire sentences because an online dictionary can’t even figure out what I’m trying to say. …

I was mid-sentence with what I’m sure was an insight of sheer brilliance, when a ding rang out from the computer Zooming on the other side of my computer. Milliseconds later, red hot die spread across Louisa’s face. “Sorry,” she said. “Gloria’s kicking the work-flow back to me again when it’s her job. It’s so passive-aggressive.” …

I spent Saturday in bed. Really, the whole day. In bed. I watched episodes of Suits until my eyes bled, and texted my friends about how useless I am. Can you imagine? Laying in bed all day while your husband cooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the kids? At least I hope he did. I …

In a green polyester uniform, amid a haze of fried oil, I stood behind the McDonald’s counter, my fingers flying over the register’s keys. It was 1983 and I’d forged my birth certificate to say I was fourteen, the legal working age. Glancing at the line wrapping out the door, I simultaneously filled a Diet …

Last night I woke up three times to pee. Three times! Sadly, it’s not unusual since birthing children. Each night, my feet hit my spanking new carpet with the triple plush mat underneath, and I pad off to the bathroom like I’m stepping on a Tempur-Pedic cloud. “Thank,” I say as my right foot takes the …

I wasn’t told that there was a loud, driveling, toxic voice living in my head who would stick around long after I needed her. No one ever showed me how to turn down her volume, and that when I did, I’d find the steady, sincere, sublime voice of my Soul. (I imagine her dressed in airy white, sitting enchantedly in a wicker chair on …

There’s a young woman finding herself in my basement. She’s meditating as fast as she can pretending to be confused about what she wants to do with her life, about the answers she has inside her, about her power. She has a married man texting her desperate pleas for her to give him a chance. …

Ten days after a surgery requiring a year-long recovery, my guy Wy here, began his college “athletic” career. Due to Covid, he can’t so much as work out with the team. Every day he watches his roommate go off to practice, while he suffocates in their hundred degree apartment alone, doing online classes far beneath his academic capacity, …

I’m training a group of door to door salespeople. They work out of campers in places so remote, I’m elated I can’t train in person. Knocking on doors in a freezing drizzle, they sell. The owner of the company sought out my training understanding that the mindset of his people is the difference of tens of …

About a million years ago, I ran a 5K with a friend Back East. Being from Colorado, I had the benefit of training in altitude and while it was my first ever “race,” three miles at sea level was not intimidating. On the day however, I found myself winded within the first mile, or at least that’s …

My ten year old’s body thinks it has a neuromuscular disorder. His nerves pretend to be confused so they don’t fire to his muscles properly. His calves have shriveled and his feet have curled to the point they needed surgical intervention. That’s what we’ve been doing this summer; a surgery in which they broke his …

Let’s be brutally honest. Whatever gossip-worthy egregious behavior your coworker is displaying, whatever glaring Marco-Polo-your-bestie-worthy inconsideration your ex is performing, whatever outrage you’re reading on social about the idiots tit for tatting, wildly judging each other all while insisting that what their side is doing isn’t judgement, whatever bone crushingly unsupportive comment or stance your grandfather, or cousin or your …

This picture speaks words seldom spoken. They are hard to verbalize, and when they find voice, they often land soundlessly like a butterfly on a bear. One might suppose these men are rude, inconsiderate, unconscious even. They aren’t, not in the slightest. And yet, here we are. Me squashed in between, careful not to take …

Several years ago, I drove down a road framed with multicolored autumn trees as sun splashed over the windshield of my PT Cruiser. I had rationalized buying this car new, but from day one it reeked of buyer’s remorse with its bright red confidence, and car payment I couldn’t at the time afford. On the radio an …