Best Holiday Coping Advice Ever

Do you get Hallmark-Channel holidays, where relatives genuinely enjoy, feel safe, are heard, seen, and entertained by one another, and also cook well?  

Let's face it, some people got different blessings in this life, but holidays are hijacked by drunk Uncle Wilbur making an ass of himself.

Perhaps relatives laugh uncomfortably or glue their eyes to the potatoes while a select few scowls from the kitchen. How the day will end out is anybody's guess, but next year, everyone holds their breath and pretends the year before never happened.

 Or maybe, like so many these days, you feel strongly about a political team, and the relative for the opposing team refuses to keep it to themselves, transforming your insides to molten lava. 

Ugh. Tensions are high, no doubt. 

Generally, we navigate potential discomforts with a myriad of control tactics. We could plead with people beforehand to behave, create separate tables, hide the alcohol, or monitor closely for subject switching. 

These all make sense to the weary traveler's “rational" mind, but the batting average is a crap shoot.

Here's how you can have an amazing holiday no matter what anyone else says or does or how unruly your inner world and wayward your thoughts are:

Have a Plan B that's better than your Plan A. If Plan A is to go to or host your event and have everything run smoothly, Plan B must be an alternative that you are equally excited about if not everyone is on board and you find yourself unable to calm your nervous system. 

Oh, the freedom I had when I learned to practice this golden nugget!  

Plan B may mean taking your own car and to-go box for food on your way out and snuggling up at home with a Netflix special. 

It could be that you check the movie schedule and know what time you'd need to leave to catch Elf. 

Or there's a coffee shop you love, and bring your book or computer with you in case you decide to duck out early. It could be as simple as a long walk nearby.

It may feel like a tall order because you must permit yourself to put your emotional state first, and you may also need to navigate the disappointment of others compassionately. 

But it IS doable and worth it - not just for you, but for others who won't have to deal with your pissiness on top of it all. Maybe they'll even join suit

We're not in charge of how anyone else shows up, but we are in charge of the type of day we have.

Will you decide to be joyful, have ease, and flow no matter what you must do to get there?

I hope this conversation is a moot point, but just in case it isn't, what's your Plan B?