I love the cultural traditions of bringing family and food together, but when did we start believing that eating until we can’t button our pants constitutes freedom, pleasure, and even self-care?
There are those with self-control, but I was never one of them. See if you can relate to these former thoughts of mine:


  • Crappy day? Have some ice cream (with chocolate sauce and peanut butter).
  • Everyone drinking? Me too; it’s only “fair.”
  • Free apps at the resort? Must not waste.
  • Land a coveted gig? Wine and cake is the best reward.


I felt restricted if I couldn’t eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, in whatever quantity my amygdala saw fit.


Likewise, my clients sometimes get downright angry. And I get it.
Our brains insist we’re being persecuted instead of recognizing we’re exercising our free will to better our health, self-image, and lives. In these moments, people talk themselves out of change.


Excuses are hauled up one at a time, like children held hostage at the bottom of a well. Anything to cling to staying the same because this is what our body believes is freedom. It is not.


I don’t encourage people to embark on transformation if it’s not their time for a change because the self-defeat of failure only makes things worse.

However, I had no idea what was on the other side of giving up my vices, and I’m glad I found out. Yes, I fall from Grace sometimes, but I no longer pretend that making healthy choices is deprivation. This mindset shift led to physical transformation and so much more.

When my clients move from feeling victimized by a program to feel empowered because they’re taking control of how they act, feel, and look, everything changes.


So, the questions alongside the stuffing on the table as we approach the holidays are:

    • Do you enjoy yourself less if you don’t have three helpings?
    • How do you want to feel once the last dish is cleaned and put away?
    • What would it be like to leave the day with your self-control, self-respect, and pants intact?


While holidays are days off work, they were never meant to be free-for-alls, a reason to procrastinate on your health, or an occasion to celebrate self-sabotage.


Click HERE if you need help. I was relieved to know what to do and have the support I needed to do it, and having this gift to pass forward brings me immense joy.

Abby Havermann

I’m Abby Havermann, an Author, Speaker, and Coach focused on inspiring women to claim the value-driven, meaningful and impactful personal and professional lives they’re meant to live. I enjoy a good book, a dry glass of wine, a difficult hike, an occasional Netflix binge, and learning from my Humble Pie moments in life to grow myself and others so we can work together toward the greater good.

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